Don't like the adverts?  Click here to remove them

Anger Management

Chas

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Joined
Mar 15, 2010
Messages
17,472
Garage
Country Flag
england
Story or joke? I don't know but it's funny

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyns correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the ''wrong'' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word' 'asshole'' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my ‘therapeutic asshole'' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down thephone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're anasshole!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"

He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?"
He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you,Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an asshole!"

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole. . 1.
He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an asshole!" (But I didn''t hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah,"
He screamed, "Stop calling me,"
I said, "Make me,"
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"

I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, I have a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.
Then I called Asshole. . 2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, asshole,"
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass,"
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax. I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management reallydoes work!!!!!!
 
Thats amazing chas been having a bad time lately so going to try it
 
I like this, who should I phone. It's been a bad week, if it's not bad enough having to be away from my family all week (and every second week) they changed my gate number tonight 15 mins before the gate closed and of course I didn't hear the announcement. Missed the flight and the operator's office is closed. So unless I want to lose my weekend as well, meant me having to buy another flight ticket with Turkish.

It took me 2 hours to get out of the airport, so that I could enter again and gain access to the first floor airline ticket office.

Now waiting for the 11:00 flight to Bucharest.

Bugger damn. Not happy. :|

Now, shall I start this by simply dialing a random number?
 
The rule is nobody you know Chas, your number is safely tucked away in Contacts. :lol:

Sorry, but I'm seriously p!ssed off, and bl00dy tired.

It will be 01:00 before I get home. Worst still, I have another deadline for tomorrow, so I have to work, but at least I'll be at home.

But there's a hidden bonus, Monday is a National Holiday in Romania.:dance:
 
Don't like the adverts?  Click here to remove them
But there's a hidden bonus, Monday is a National Holiday in Romania.:dance:

Right that's good, you can put your feet up for a bit, so Tuesday it's 'Once more unto the breach dear friends'?

Henry V

Henry V.jpg
 
Yep... In Bucharest next week so I get to see the wife and kid. Miss 'em, I do, when away...
 
Know what you mean Clive, i had years of working away every week, admittedly i was still in blighty though & a drive home Friday night
 
Know what you mean Clive, i had years of working away every week, admittedly i was still in blighty though & a drive home Friday night

It could be worse, I suppose. Bucharest-Istanbul is only an hour on the plane, but it's a 5am start on a Monday, then missing the plane on the Friday is tedious, to say the least.

The journey is quite mixed, on a Monday I'm up at 5am, at 6am take a taxi to the airport 30 mins, hour and a half to get through security and breccy in the departure lounge before the flight, 1 hr flight, 20 mins to get through Istanbul passport control, 10 mins taxi to Bakirkoy ferry, 40 mins on the ferry to Bostanci, then another 10 minutes in a taxi to the Site.

Usually in the office by 11 if it all goes well. :lol:

Attaturk airport has become notorious for gate changes lately though, this time I had checked the board on the way to the gate and all was well. At the gate there was a gang of lads having a laugh and a bit noisy, and I recon that's when they announced the gate change and I didn't hear it. There's no destination screens at the gates, which pees me off, and meant I was unaware that the gate I was at was going to friggin Cairo! I ran like hell, but once the gate is closed, you'd have to be the President or something similar to get it opened again. I stood there watching my plane still hooked up to the boarding tunnel, most frustrating.

Anyway, €150 lighter, I'm home now, 02:30 and time for bed... :sleeping-sleep::sleeping-sleep::sleeping-sleep::sleeping-sleep:
 
Last edited:
That is such thoughts pain Clive, I used to travel all the time, my thoughts are with you.
 
A sure sign of content absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that every coin has a flip side :thumbup:

yeah, yeah, try telling that to my missus :lol:

Actually she's as good as gold, but even she's getting on edge about it. We'll see.
 
Been there a few times myself Clive especially when i usually nip off for a week and end up not coming back for a few weeks or months , at one point she decided enough's enough . She was horrified when i arrived home that very evening having put my business up for sale . I left again a week later with a full blessings and encouragement to stay in business :lol:
 
Back
Top