Paddys sick note
(it helps if you repeat it to yourself in an Irish accent)
Dear Sir, I write this note to you to tell you of me plight
And at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
Me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly grey
And I write this note to say, why Paddy's not at work today.
While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear
And to throw them down from off the top seemed quite a good idea
But the foreman wasn't very pleased, he being an awkward . . . sod
He said I’d have to carry them down the ladders in me hod.
Now clearing all those bricks by hand, it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.
So when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
Well, I shot up like a rocket ‘til to my dismay I found
That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.
Well, the barrel broke my shoulder as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head
Well I clung on tight, though numb with shock from this almighty blow
As the barrel spilled out half the bricks fourteen floors below.
Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and started down once more
So clinging tightly to the rope I sped towards the ground
And landed on the broken bricks that were scattered all around.
As I lay there on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel, that's when the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn’t got a hope
As I lay there moaning on the ground, I let go the bloody rope.
The barrel then being heavier, started down once more
And landed right across me as I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today.
(it helps if you repeat it to yourself in an Irish accent)
Dear Sir, I write this note to you to tell you of me plight
And at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
Me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly grey
And I write this note to say, why Paddy's not at work today.
While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear
And to throw them down from off the top seemed quite a good idea
But the foreman wasn't very pleased, he being an awkward . . . sod
He said I’d have to carry them down the ladders in me hod.
Now clearing all those bricks by hand, it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.
So when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
Well, I shot up like a rocket ‘til to my dismay I found
That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.
Well, the barrel broke my shoulder as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head
Well I clung on tight, though numb with shock from this almighty blow
As the barrel spilled out half the bricks fourteen floors below.
Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and started down once more
So clinging tightly to the rope I sped towards the ground
And landed on the broken bricks that were scattered all around.
As I lay there on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel, that's when the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn’t got a hope
As I lay there moaning on the ground, I let go the bloody rope.
The barrel then being heavier, started down once more
And landed right across me as I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today.
