Corona virus: Humour

[jibberjabber]

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[jibberjabber]

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[jibberjabber]

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[jibberjabber]

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[Chas]

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[jibberjabber]

Chinese doctors have confirmed the name of the first person to contract Coronavirus. His name is Ah-Chu.


- Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.

 

[jibberjabber]

To the people who bought 20 bottles of soap leaving none of the shelves for others, you do realise that to stop getting Coronavirus, you need other people washing their hands too.

They said that a mask and gloves were enough to go to the supermarket. They lied, everyone else has clothes on.

 

[jibberjabber]

I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"

She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"

I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here"

Since everybody has now started washing their hands, the peanuts at the bar have lost their taste.

 

[jibberjabber]

 

[Chas]

As an aside to Corona, what mpg are we getting at the moment? so far in the last three weeks I've used about 1/2 gallon

 

[Towpack]

 

[Rodger]

 

[Shayne]

 

[Chas]

Sausage rolls also be served at 1700 hrs

Next day

 

[flint]

People used to cough to cover up breaking wind, now they break wind to cover up a cough.

 

[Bungarra]

Close the bottle shops..... are you fking mad!

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=153916332600420

 

[Chas]

I'm getting better mileage driving like an idiot than like a grandma but Land Rovers will still need a can of oil a week in the garage during lockdown. . . . . . .

 

[GeorgeG]

 

[Chas]

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[Tractionman]

That's a double like Chas, just had another one in Marks, I had to tell "step away"