Driving Guide - Ireland

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Guest

Guest
Julian

Appreciate this is stretching the limits on the LC's and 4x4 related issues - but most of these ring through on the roads over here

You have all been warned....

Niall


1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident Irish driver avoids using them.
2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, because somebody else will fill in the space, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of getting hit.
4. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. With no insurance, the other operator probably has nothing to lose.
5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.
6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the motorway.
7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable in Ireland during rush hour.
8. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tyre. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.
9. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. Ireland is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the Department of Public Works, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert!
10. It is tradition in Ireland to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.
11. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important to exit your vehicle through the windscreen right away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.
12. Remember that the goal of every Irish driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.
13. WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.
14. Always drive with the front fog lights on as it makes you look really cool and everyone will think it's a jet fighter behind them, not a muppet in a car.
15. Remember - it is your moral duty as a responsible motorist to increase road safety by driving at 50mph in the outside lane of the motorway / dual carriageway when the only other traffic for miles is someone 3 feet behind you having an eppileptic fit and flashing his lights like mad. Just imagine if this had happened to the poor guy if he was going faster - could have been dangerous!
 
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Guest

Guest
Niall
If for "Ireland" you said "France" (or Italy) I think I'd agree... apart from the pot-holes.
You don't have any Cromwells in your ancestry do you?
CB
Julian
=A0
Appreciate this is stretching the limits on the LC's and 4x4 related issues - but most of these ring through on the roads over here
=A0
You have all been warned....
=A0
Niall
=A0
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Niall
Wonderful! Your warnings have been filed away safely for future reference -
your comments made me laugh - good on a 'orrible wet day like today in
drizzle brizzle!
Renate
-----Original Message-----
From: [Email address removed] [mailto:[Email address removed]]On
Behalf Of Niall Sommers
Sent: 31 May 2007 15:23
To: [Email address removed]
Subject: [ELCO] Driving Guide - Ireland
Julian
Appreciate this is stretching the limits on the LC's and 4x4 related
issues - but most of these ring through on the roads over here
You have all been warned....
Niall
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident Irish driver
avoids using them.
2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you
and the car in front of you, because somebody else will fill in the space,
putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of
getting hit.
4. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.
With no insurance, the other operator probably has nothing to lose.
5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your
ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal violently
pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg
muscles.
6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a good way
to prepare other drivers entering the motorway.
7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are
not enforceable in Ireland during rush hour.
8. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone
changing a tyre. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.
9. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. Ireland is the home of
high-speed slalom driving thanks to the Department of Public Works, which
puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them
alert!
10. It is tradition in Ireland to honk your horn at cars in front of you
that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.
11. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is
important to exit your vehicle through the windscreen right away. Wearing
your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.
12. Remember that the goal of every Irish driver is to get ahead of the
pack by whatever means necessary.
13. WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects
it and it will result in you being rear-ended.
14. Always drive with the front fog lights on as it makes you look really
cool and everyone will think it's a jet fighter behind them, not a muppet in
a car.
15. Remember - it is your moral duty as a responsible motorist to increase
road safety by driving at 50mph in the outside lane of the motorway / dual
carriageway when the only other traffic for miles is someone 3 feet behind
you having an eppileptic fit and flashing his lights like mad. Just imagine
if this had happened to the poor guy if he was going faster - could have
been dangerous!
 
G

Guest

Guest
Chris, Niall, & dear Morocco-hopping Julian
Read Tunis City.., or Cairo.., or Tripoli [Libya](well, the truckers are
okay, its the rest who arn't!)
Light relief does no one any harm whatsoever!
Renate
-----Original Message-----
From: [Email address removed]
[mailto:[Email address removed]]On Behalf Of Christopher Bell
Sent: 31 May 2007 15:31
To: [Email address removed]
Subject: RE: [ELCO] Driving Guide - Ireland
Niall
If for "Ireland" you said "France" (or Italy) I think I'd agree... apart
from the pot-holes.
You don't have any Cromwells in your ancestry do you?
CB
Julian
?
Appreciate this is stretching the limits on the LC's and 4x4 related
issues - but most of these ring through on the roads over here
?
You have all been warned....
?
Niall
?
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Guest

Guest
Hi Renate,
Sorry to hear it's raining there, it's blazin' sun here in South London.
Niall, thanks for a good laugh from me too, I remember being given a lift in
Ireland by a lovely man in an old VW Beetle, hunched over his steering wheel
almost out of the windscreen, saying the local potholed roads were "Very
wavey" a very apt description.
TTFN
Chas
----- Original Message -----
From: "Renate Haupt" <[Email address removed]>
To: <[Email address removed]>
Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2007 4:04 PM
Subject: RE: [ELCO] Driving Guide - Ireland
 
G

Guest

Guest
Renate
I lived in Cairo for a year back in 1980/81. Driving was "interesting",
and my car had dents on every single surface, including the roof. I'd
been driving there for 3 months before I realised that there were
actually traffic lights.
When I came back to the UK my parents couldn't understand why I swerved
away across the road whenever a bus approached from the opposite
direction ... it took a while to cure myself of that habit.
CB
Oh, and I'm glad someone else out there is a Flanders & Swan fan.
(For those who wonder what we're on about it's a quasi-political song
about a left-handed bindweed marrying a right-handed honeysuckle, and
how their parents were worried about the difference in their twining
directions...)
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Guest

Guest
Chris
Poor You!
Swerving requires good, strong suspension for Tunis City...the people, as
you know, walk on the road and drive on the pavements...
Renate
-----Original Message-----
From: [Email address removed]
[mailto:[Email address removed]]On Behalf Of Christopher Bell
Sent: 31 May 2007 17:09
To: [Email address removed]
Subject: RE: [ELCO] Driving Guide - Ireland
Renate
I lived in Cairo for a year back in 1980/81. Driving was "interesting",
and my car had dents on every single surface, including the roof. I'd
been driving there for 3 months before I realised that there were
actually traffic lights.
When I came back to the UK my parents couldn't understand why I swerved
away across the road whenever a bus approached from the opposite
direction ... it took a while to cure myself of that habit.
CB
Oh, and I'm glad someone else out there is a Flanders & Swan fan.
(For those who wonder what we're on about it's a quasi-political song
about a left-handed bindweed marrying a right-handed honeysuckle, and
how their parents were worried about the difference in their twining
directions...)
____________________________________________________________
Electronic mail messages entering and leaving Arup business
systems are scanned for acceptability of content and viruses
 
G

Guest

Guest
Hi Chris,
Sounds a lot like mine and that's just from London and the Surrey
countryside, and I've got a recording of every song Flanders & Swann
recorded (about 55)
TTFN
Chas
----- Original Message -----
From: "Christopher Bell" <[Email address removed]>
To: <[Email address removed]>
Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2007 5:09 PM
Subject: RE: [ELCO] Driving Guide - Ireland
Renate
and my car had dents on every single surface, including the roof.
CB
Oh, and I'm glad someone else out there is a Flanders & Swan fan.
(For those who wonder what we're on about it's a quasi-political song
about a left-handed bindweed marrying a right-handed honeysuckle, and
how their parents were worried about the difference in their twining
directions...)
 
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