What state is the Actuator in ??
Is it likely that you could remove it intact - whilst keeping all the electrical connections in place ??
If so, remove it (with the car in low box) and then engage & dis-engage the diff lock . . does the actuator turn fully in each direction ??
With it in the 'unlock' position, use a screw driver to move the diff lock rack fully to the nearside of the car, then replace the actuator. The two are now in synch.
Try it again. If it still fails I suggest the Actuator is faulty and should be replaced (you really don't want to accidently engage diff lock on a motorway

).
With the actuator removed, this is what the diff lock rack looks like in the 'unlocked' position . .
If you remove the cover on the side of the diff, just behing the Actuator, you can manually did-engage the diff lock by pulling the shaft outwards. . .
However, if the Actuator is faulty, the internal spring may just pull the diff lock back into engagement so be warned.
Bob.