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Funny Pictures

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Dem.jpg
 
Dear passengers, we're flying on fully automated computer aided total navigation and control systems, be assured that nothing can go wrong.... [crackle-beep] can go wrong... [crackle-beep] can go wrong... [crackle-beep] can go wrong...
 
Not a funny picture but following on from Clive

Qantas Maintenance Reports

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.) (S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
 
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How do they do it? it must be some sort of projection. I love those fishes swimming below.

Its like the floor in "Strictly Come Dancing", I have always wanted to see how that worked.

Bob.
 

That's very interesting. I'd like to see how the set-up and programming is done.

Presumably the array can be defined as a single screen, rather than having to break every image down into panel-sized sub-images (and then keep them in synch).

While the 'Strictly' audience is watching the Celebs, I'm looking at the floor displays, lighting, spotlights, fireworks and thinking "in behind all this is a Geek at a keyboard" :lol:.

Bob.
(retired IT Manager).
 
While the 'Strictly' audience is watching the Celebs, I'm looking at the floor displays, lighting, spotlights, fireworks and thinking "in behind all this is a Geek at a keyboard" :lol:.

Bob.
(retired IT Manager).
Given my working history of stage lighting and effects that's exactly what I do too Bob.
I had retired before the LED panel technology came along so I don't know anything about the use of them, still find it interesting though.
 
While the 'Strictly' audience is watching the Celebs, I'm looking at the floor displays, lighting, spotlights, fireworks and thinking "in behind all this is a Geek at a keyboard"
Nope, sorry, can't see the floor or the lights when Ola is on! :)
 
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