Pirate: I have some moles on me back, Aaarrr.
Doc: Its Ok, they're benign.
Pirate: Count again, I think there be ten !!!
I bought shares in Starbucks this morning..... ....or a large, as they like to call it !!!
My wife said she didn't need me anymore......
.....so I sneaked into the kitchen and tightened all the lids.
I can only think of three Motown groups.
Possibly four, tops.
It took me days to realise my herb garden had gone, nowhere to be found......
I mean, where does the thyme go?
"I stand corrected." said the man wearing the orthopaedic shoes.
Therapist: "I think you have a marriage phobia. Do you know what the symptoms are?"
Me: "Can't say I do"
Therapist: "That's one of them"