Friday afternoon - almost ruined in ways I never thought it could

[Crispin]

Seeing as I got home from work early and the sun was shining (it happens from time to time) I thought I was start clearing the winter mess from the garden. Today was a good day to clean the pond.

My two kids playing in the garden, me cleaning the pond, I went down to the shed to get something out. What could not have been a minute or two later I heard a blood-curdling scream from my eldest - 7 years old - "DAD! DAD! DAD!". This scream was different. I was not the dad-there-is-a-giant-spider-on-my-foot. This chilled me instantly. It was then that my brain suddenly connected two things: My 2.5 year old daughter was in the garden and I had just been cleaning the pond.

I've never been an overly protective parent. I've never been one to watch kids like a hawk. I would rather they learn through experience (i.e. falling out a tree) than tell them not to climb in case they fall. It's a simple case of seeing if they will get hurt or will they get injured. For the last 6 years it's worked well. Explain to them what the deal is, if they get hurt then, as my mother used to say "don't come crying to me". This has always worked and the kids are quite good at being sensible.

Come screaming back to the blood-curdling scream; My legs started bounding back towards the pond before my, as Chris would say "dainty frame" could catch up. It felt like I covered 120 feet in 3 steps. While running I was realising that I could not see my youngest. As I neared the pond I could see my 2 year old under water. I will never forget the look on her face.

There she lay, moving slightly, with mud, fish shit and who knows what else a pond has on her face. Staring up at me in a panicked look. With obvious self-disregard I was in the in the pond and scooped her out. She was well and truly under water. The first few seconds - what felt like an eternity - she did nothing. I was now out the pond and kneeing next to it.

After she "gargled" out a huge amount of muddy black water she took a breath. Cough and choked more and gasped again. Ok, she's breathing on her own. There are two emotions I felt in the space of 30 seconds. I wish neither of these emotions on anyone.

As it turned out, my wife had made it to the pond at the same time as I but from the other direction. She too was standing in the pond - boots and all. I don't recall any of this. Judging by the state of both our shoes and jeans I don't doubt her account.

Once she was doing a half-decent job of breathing I called 112. The lady on the phone was amazing. It has to be an incredibly hard job at times. The tone of her voice changed notably when I said "My 2 year old daughter was in the pond". We went through the basics and in the meantime she had sent an ambulance. What happened next really annoyed me. They sent the only available ambulance from 13 miles away! They took what seemed like a lifetime.

I have the utmost admiration for the paramedics and the call centre staff. Their job must be one of extreme mixed emotions all for zero gratitude from the knob-ends who decide their worth: The government.
After everything had settled down I was having a chat to the guy. He's been criss-crossing Herts like this since 7am. They're short staffed and extremely busy.

We then had to do a 17 mile trip to the nearest hospital. Yup, the knob-ends thought it would be good to shut down the nearest hospital (QE-II - 5 miles away) and turn it into a glorified pharmacy. Instead, a super-hospital in Stevenage (Lister - 17 miles away). The ambulance got a head start on me. I needed to change and get my eldest changed. Some "spirited" driving by the Volvo (topped 130mph, ran out of road) we made it to the hospital at the same time.

Again, I have the utmost admiration for the staff at A&E. Having grown up with parents who worked in a trauma A&E in SA I have some appreciation for the jobs they do. After hooking her up to all the wires they were quite quickly satisfied that she was doing fine by herself. Sadly, both doctors in the paediatric A&E were busy with what sounded like a very sad case. The "noooo...." followed by crying from a mother could not have been good. It really hurt. I felt bad for being so thankful it was not me in her situation.

We eventually got discharged at 1am with loads of antibiotics (fish pond, two dead fish from winter, fish poo etc).

I've never had so much fun playing with my two daughters in the garden today. The slightest lapse of concentration could have changed so much....

I'm not sure why I write this - a simple way for me to get it off my chest.

 

[Pumpy]

Blimey sounds like a close call, glad everything turned out OK!

What time is the sand being delivered for your new sand pit

 

[StarCruiser]

Oh boy, you had my attention to the last letter of that post Crispin and I get why you wrote it. That reality of how close you came is something that only now is becoming apparent to you as you relive it in your mind every five minutes.

I built a raised pond for my parents and stocked it with half the fish pond contents of a builder who's first grandchildren were just becoming mobile-he filled it in. I thought it a bit extreme at the time but it really is just too easy for them to fall in. If you don't fill it in, strong mesh just under the water is something that works well.

That had my adrenalin going reading it!! Thank God she's ok and hope she doesn't suffer any ill effects from what she's breathed in.

 

[Dave2000]

Bloody close one there mate! The kiddies in the pond, the tug of the hot iron wire, and all the other hazards that surround us can easily be overlooked. I do not know how many subscribers on here like myself had children (mine grown up now) in sudden peril. You and your other half were there, did the 'parent thing' and all is good. Kids now bathed and put to bed after an extra cuddle, a beer (or stronger), extra double check on them before you to bed, Sunday morning sorting out the pond, nice rockery with waterfall sound about right. Sand is good but attracts cats as they find it a great litter box.......ask me how I know!

Well done Mum and Dad!

regards

Dave

 

[TonyP]

Too close for comfort mate. Glad Alice is fine, been playing on my mind for the last 24hrs, can't imagine what you and the Mrs felt like.

On a plus side I believe that's it's time for change......

 

[Gary820]

So glad that she's ok. Such a close call that could've easily ended differently.

Kids do like to test us with the things they do!

 

[Shayne]

Just count your blessings mate mothers have been telling their kids don't touch or you will get burnt since time began , have you ever met anyone who has not been burnt .

 

[Chris]

Holy crap. You couldn't make this up could you. Mate I share your feelings on this one. Nearly lost our youngest to drowning TWICE. Yes, once wasn't enough. Looked to the edge of the sea and there she was face down in the breakers not moving. It only takes one gulp and the lights go dim. Really glad she's ok. Heck of an experience but I still applaud your approach to parenting. You shouldn't wrap kids up in bubble wrap. It does them no favours in the long run.

Did you not get any photos then ? Huh?

C

 

[froggy Steve]

shit! That could have been such a different ending I am so glad all ended OK - a 2yr old drowned in a pool near here a few years ago - it had a safety fence and a self closing gate - the parents had propped that open with a brick as you need 2 hands to operate the gate - cant take a G& T poolside with that. Really sad

 

[Rodger]

So glad that your daughter is okay and your attitude to parenting is exactly the same as ours that we used with our two boys.
However the point you made about the paramedics struck home with me and the ones from Somerset & Avon who attended my youngest (32) 3 days ago when a supermarket van turned right across him, have my sincere thanks. My son is out of IC now but it will be a long job until he's fully fit and well again, but thanks to those wonderful paramedics and the police and fire guys, he is alive.
My son appears to be more upset that his motorcycle is a write off.

 

[Sag]

So glad all ok now, it amazes you what can happen in such a short time with kids.
I've got a big net over ours with a frame under it what lifts up for maintenance as we have our granddaughter round regular and other members of the family's kids,

 

[Crispin]

Thanks fellas. Yes, it was too close for comfort. Chris - scary story. That too must have made your heart stop.

It's silly and a lot of the after-thoughts are similar to the days after my SA incident. I'm not one to ponder on the what-ifs - after all, if my granny had wheels she'd be a bus - but today has been tougher. But like I said - we had a blast playing in the garden. The two girls are inseparable. Olivia, the eldest, knows and appreciates what was happening and what could have happened. She's quite blunt about stuff though. We'll see what the next few days bring. Alice, the 2.5 year old, kept telling the nurses and doctors "I was swimming with the fishes." Pretty sure that's an Al Capone quote?


As for filling in the pond - I don't think so. I do have a new respect for it though! I will put a small fence / terrace around it though. Something that needs concerted effort to climb over. My suspicion is she was looking at the fishes and slipped on the wet stones around it. I had thought of putting a net over it but without having secure foundations for the next so it does not become entangled you're just going to remove their ability to fight. I had a net over my pool in SA. Not for me or my kids (I was 22...) but for kids in general. Not a year goes by without hearing sad stories. Part of me kicks myself for having this "belief" from SA but not acting on it here.

It is frightening though - a slight lapse of concentration and things can happen so swiftly. On the plus side those - the fact that the world is over populated suggests we do good more often than not

Glad you son is doing well Rodger!

 

[chadr]

Glad to hear that your daughter is OK Crispin.

When I started reading the post it sent a shiver down my spine. Reminded me of the tragic case, in similar circumstances, reported only a few weeks ago.

All the best to you and yours.

 

[Chas]

"My two kids playing in the garden, me cleaning the pond" That had my heart pounding, I feared what was to come, so relieved it turned out not to be as serious as it might have been. I don't have children of my own but I can imagine the horrors you went through at the time. Give her a cuddle from me Cris.

 

[Crispin]

Just been sitting chatting to SWAMBO, retelling each part of the events. She mentioned something which I had forgotten. Her recounting it chilled me. She had actually arrived there before me. While running I heard her screaming "no no no". It was with the same chill my daughter screamed. Scary stuff.

Chad - I keep playing that event over too. It was two young brothers if memory serves. One cannot being to imagine what those poor parents are going through.

Thanks Chas - and everyone else.

 

[Pat]

Crispin,I like your attitude towards giving kids the chance to do things.Life is is full of risks but experience is a needed teacher for our young ones.We can't stop them climbing or playing with water but they day by day learn the dos and don'ts .It is also a lesson for us to be a Little more vigilant.

 

[clivehorridge]

Sorry to be so late seeing this thread, I've only just got the Internet to work in this hotel in Oman.

it's all been said already, but thank goodness all turned out well.

I've been considering building a pond, but either it won't happen or I'll take some 'appropriate' measures.

Can't really imagine the horror of that as it unfolded Cris.

We don't cotton wrap our 7 yr old, but it pains me to think of something major going wrong.

As as soon as she was walking, she fell onto the edge of the bottom tread of our wooden staircase. I instantly picked her up and held her to me to comfort her. She was screaming and I was 'there, thereing' like an idiot. Moments later, when I held her away from me to see what damage there was (if any) I saw (and felt) the blood. My shirt was saturated and it was running down inside the waistband of my trousers. Jeez she bled, and the first-aid training lurking somewhere in my single brain cell kicked in. One of her bottom teeth had punched right through her bottom lip.

Since then, she's done ok, just minor bumps and bruises. She rides horses, her bike, scooter, roller blades, the zip-line I set up in the garden, and she skis faster than me.

We have held on to her wearing a helmet on her bike and the blades, but I'm resisting on skis, but it does concern me. What's best? It's an eternal question.

Count your blessings Cris, sleep well one and all in the Crispin household....

 

[clivehorridge]

I agonized over posting this, but when I first saw it, I didn't know it had a happy ending.

It's the most traumatic vid I've ever watched.

View it at your discretion.

 

[Shayne]

I grew up pretty much without parental care and never had kids of my own but i have long held the view that "good parents" are the ones that doubt themselves .

You can't predict or prepare for every eventuality , must be 2 years ago i was sat as i am now looking at the forum when my stepdaughter let out an odd sort of yelp from behind the computer . It was a sound that cut to the quick and i would guess in less than a second i had her baby out of the highchair held upside down by both feet in my left hand and he was bawling instead of choking .

No harm done but my stepdaughter cried because she had froze and didn't know what to do . It took me a while to convince her that her instinct is likely greater than mine and it was just chance that mine kicked in first .

 

[Paddler Ed]

The cathartic nature of writing something that others (who often share a similar world view) will see is often a good way of debriefing and de-stressing from something like that.

I'm sure they would have checked for secondary drowning at the hospital, but don't always rely on them to do so, so keep an eye on her for that. ANYONE who is pulled from the water should be checked for that, it's not always obviously apparent and is caused by a lungful of water and may be a problem later on. I have heard of cases (and now can't find any reference to it) where it hadn't been checked for until the friends or family said to check for it - mainly in the whitewater canoe and kayaking community, where a lot of guys have a high level of first aid qualification specific to that environment. When I got stuck in a weir I really should have gone to get checked out afterwards but didn't...