Last ever posting

Chris

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Feb 24, 2010
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Well boys it's been fun. Many thanks for all the advice over the years, but I'm off. I have found the answer to all of my prayers; it's guaranteed, barely any work and the rewards are going to be massive. So shove all the hard work and hello good times!

Tonight, I caught a progamme on the television set called X-Factor. Where, it appears, you can go on for nothing, do very little, exhibit little or no talent whatsoever and have celebrities (ok need to look that up in the dictionary) blow smoke up your ass telling you that you were wonderful, brilliant and so talented that it makes them want to cry!

Well, as a talentless halfwit myself, I can hardly miss can I? All I need to do now is pick some impossibly inappropriate songs that are way out of my league, murder them on the night and I am home-safe. Like I say, been nice knowing you all. Don't expect any favours when I make it big, because I shall be far too good (and massively rich for about a year) to talk to you all. I am going to have my 80 gold plated and trimmed inside in pink leather.

Now if I can just practice crying and staggering about like an escaped brain donor.

"There's a Lady who's sure all that glitters is gold ......."

Let's hear it for the Amazing, Incredible, just getting better every week, new sensation,

Chris
(cue applause and shouting, ridiculous Wimbledon style shouting)
 

Chas

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I wish you all the best and hope you can get your Cruiser done how you like, gold plated :cool: maybe . . . but PINK leather? :gay-imgay:
 

TonyP

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Feb 25, 2010
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You really should avoid posting when you ahve had a ew drinks :lol:

But I agree with your sentiment, what a load of crap x-factor is!
 
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Chris

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I despair. My family are glued to it. I just think that it encapsulates everything that it wrong with this country. If anyone is headed off to SA, maybe I'll just come along with you.

No-one is a loser any more. This is supposed to be a talent show and there's one guy who (bless him) is a joke and he's still in. Not one of the judges say 'Hey Man, you are shit get off' They all say things like 'That's you best performance yet!' What's wrong with society? Missus says I should be on Grumpy Old Men. Know what, if they called, I would be on like a shot!

Drink? Tony, I haven't even started yet mate!

Hey perhaps I could get drunk, walk on, drop my trousers and £&$* all over the stage to music and they'd give me a contract?

Whaddya think

C
 

Chris

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Well, I don't know. Sometimes I think it's all part of an alien take-over. They're brainwashing the planet, softening us up.

No-one seems to care about anything anymore. Rubbish in the hedgerows, chewing gum on the pavements, knives in schools, drugs....

It's all so disposable. We're going to disappear under a pile of un-recyclable waste and broken games consoles. We are going to die out as a species. Mostly from sheer apathy.

I just want to go and live in a log cabin in the mountains. No telly, no phone. Gotta take my music of course. Have to have music. And a bunch of guns of course. :violence-sniperprone:


Chris
 

goodoldboy

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Apr 30, 2010
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have you been stalking me?
I just want to go and live in a log cabin in the mountains. No telly, no phone. Gotta take my music of course. Have to have music. And a bunch of guns of course.
did exactly this years ago , haven't had a T.V. for over fifteen years ,after about a week you don't miss it ,you find things to do,interesting thing that require thought, effort ,planing commitment ect. - just like the projects in this forum.Living out here on the mountain gives you a different perspective on "civilisation"
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Ecoman

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Sep 8, 2010
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Oh if only...couldn't see the missus getting much in the way of locum work up there though. Oh well think we will stay on the edges of the rat race for a few more years yet then :thumbdown:
 

chadr

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Mar 19, 2010
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Chris said:
Well boys it's been fun. Many thanks for all the advice over the years, but I'm off. I have found the answer to all of my prayers; it's guaranteed, barely any work and the rewards are going to be massive. So shove all the hard work and hello good times!
I didn't know you were called Wagner on the weekends? ;)
 

Chris

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Let's load up and head for the hills, Boys. Take only what you can carry, some extra shells for the 12 gauge, a bottle of Hot-sauce and anything from the top shelf.

I'll see you out back in 5 minutes.

Chris
 

goodoldboy

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Apr 30, 2010
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:thumbup: I am in the hills already but am running low on encona hot pepper sauce, can you bring me a few bottles?
 

Chris

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Ahh, yes, you'll have to let me have the recipe for Raccoon burgers and Elk pate when I drop that sauce off!

Just loading the truck now. Just wondering if I should put that half bottle of sherry in there too. Don't want to be overloaded.

Chris
 

BIG clean GREEN

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Apr 6, 2010
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Chris said:
Ahh, yes, you'll have to let me have the recipe for Raccoon burgers and Elk pate when I drop that sauce off!

Just loading the truck now. Just wondering if I should put that half bottle of sherry in there too. Don't want to be overloaded.

Chris
Chris I was totally taken in with your thread and was about to load my LC with cafe creme and a good stash of porn when I saw the Sherry thing, "why you almost got me there buddy" !!!!!
 

Chris

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I am in europe
Feb 24, 2010
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You can pop round with the porn and smokes any time you like, but stick the sherry in the tank with all that cooking oil. Spoon full of mustard and and you'll be running on salad dressing!!

Chris
 
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