comedy car/vehicle buying stories!!

[yogi]

Thought a thread on funny car buying adventures might amuse, we've all had them to some extent... even if they mightn't have been that funny at the start!

So here is number one,

Few years ago went to look at a 2001 Passat TDI with a friend, looked clean, reasonable money but not alarm bells cheap.

Looked at it, drove it, looked at it and agreed a price. Then it was tax book time, no problem it was in the glove box. Seller was a nice foreign chap.

So looked at the VIN plate, nice car I says to him, pity the VIN plate is the wrong one, so then he starts to mumble something about it 'mussa be mistake, I buy in 'main VW garage name here, letta me see where it wrong....'

So I hand him the tax book and as I lean over to point out the VIN on the car, he hops into the car and drives off with the BONNET STILL UP!

Pulls in 200yrds up the road drops the bonnet and then him and the car disappear like Debbie McGee round the corner......

 

[stumog]

I went to look at a patrol 52 plate Blue. low miles vey tidy. laid of the floor to look uder it. my mistake was putting my hand on the sill. my hand went completly through it and loads of rusty bits of patrol was all over tbd floor.
walked away from that one. could get how good it was on top compared to underneath.
stu

 

[Bob]

Wasn't funny at the time, but I can laugh now.

Bought an Iveco Daily box van in February for touring with a theatre production..

March 6th - 2.15 a.m - the clutch has a catastrophic failure on a quiet country road coming home from a show.. Had to be in a theatre 60 miles away by 8 a.m - Landcruiser to the rescue and 3 runs with a box trailer. LOOONG night

March 14th 7.25 a.m... Diesel transfer pump croaked en route to another venue close to home.. I bodged a pump from a Deutz tractor onto it... Got there by 9.30 LONG morning

May 20th - fails the DOE test for road worthiness on a few small things.

May 28th -on the way to the re-test the Turbo decides to terminate its existence.... LOTS of bad language...

June... Sold the Iveco... Poorer but happy

Lesson learned...

 

[Jimbo4x4]

Oh dear, we've not long picked up an iveco daily tipper at work... hope we don't get a repeat of your experience bob!

My first car was a Suzuki sj. One particular one I looked at with my dad was wonderous, we had to marvel at the sill repair as someone had literally duct taped over a massive rust hole on both sides and painted the tape the same colour blue as the rest of the truck!

 

[Neil Stone]

As a young lad my dad surprised me by taking me to look at a mini clubman.
It wasn't great, but the family had run a series of mini's and it was bought for around £200.
The brakes were poor, so I put a jack under it and started to lift the vehicle but it stayed still and the jack disappeared into the sills.
4 years later I'd replaced the floors, sills, subframe mounts, rear subframe and the lower rear panels, A-panels, slam panel, whatever those bits are at the lower corner of the screen that always go on mini's, the battery box and a few other bits besides.
I learnt to weld !
My dad must have been busy at work because he never really helped out after that.
I bought a cracking 1310 competition engine, it went like stink. (when the speedo got fixed I discovered that the engine noise I loved in third gear equated to 90mph !!!).
Anyway, it still had issues and anytime my girlfriend (now wife) went near it the bloody thing would break down or fail in some way.
The final straw was blasting down the A9 and hearing a scape or two from the exhaust and looking in the mirror to see it bounce over the following car (luckily it didn't hit it).
I stopped and looked for it but never found it. Damn thing sounded like a tank and was fuming out the car.

We got AA relayed back to my dads and arrived having drunk his bottle of malt on route.

It only ran for 6 months before being replaced with a Peugeot Pick-up.

 

[Chris]

I've been to look at a fair few Land Cruisers all described as immaculate or in stunning condition



Do you see me laughing? Well, DO you?

 

[Gav Peter]

I was going to point this thread your way Chris... :-D

 

[Chas]

No funny stores from me, some of the junk I've bought I feel more like crying over.

 

[ModelMakerMan]

Went with a mate to pick up his first car which he bought blind for £500 on ebay.

Met with the guy in a random supermarket carpark somewhere in South Yorkshire. My mate signed the paperwork and was handed the keys to a bright yellow Citroen Saxo VTR.... bright yellow because some chav had sprayed the entire car with rattle cans!

My job was to drive the car back to Burnley as said mate was yet to pass his driving test.

Pulled out of the carpark and took a left turn to find a constant stream of water pouring over my head, much to my mate's amusement. The sunroof leaked badly and had a massive pool of water in it so to empty it I took a few goes round a round-a-bout... mate not so amused any more as it empties on his head!

Stopped off at Halfords to buy some duct tape to tape up the sunroof, having done that we start the car to find the power steering no longer works. Out with the wheel brace to twat the electric power steering pump and off we go again.

About half a mile further we go over a speed hump and the drivers wing mirror falls off and hangs by the adjuster... out with the duct tape again.

Pulled onto a dual cartridge way and start to open her up... and she starts to open her self up! The grill and wheel arch trim start flapping wildly. Stopped added more duct tape..

A little while later my mate decides he is a bit warm and presses the button to open his window, there follows a grinding noise, a clonk and the glass disappears into the door rather rapidly. Stopped, removed door card, added 2 sticks and more duct tape.

Eventually got to a motorway and decided against all common sense to see just how good duct tape sticks and flew along at *cough* 70mph *cough*. At least the engine seemed work ok. That was until I notice the temp gauge getting close to the red. On with the heater which didnt seem to do much and we sweat our way to the next services not daring to try and open any other windows.

Pull into the services, kill time whist waiting for it to cool down by taping up an further parts which look like they might fall off and writing things in tape on the back. Then find there is no coolant in the rad, cant find any leaks so fill it with water, twat the steering pump again and bimble it back to Burnley.

Needless to say that car didnt last much longer and my mate learned some very important lessons about buying stuff on ebay!

The paint job looks MUCH better in the pictures that in reality!:

 

[Doodle]

Helping a mate look for a Discovery (yes, I know, but there's some people who just won't listen). Having phoned up before leaving to confirm it's available to view and ask questions, we arrive after 90 mins in the car to find there's no sign of it amongst the half-dozen green ovals the guy has for sale.

Usual greet and handshake, we mention calling earlier and asking him about car X. "Ah yes, I sold that one earlier this week, but I've got this one instead which I thought you might be interested in". Yes, V8 Auto instead of TD5 manual, wrong spec, etc etc. So nothing at all like what we told you we wanted then.

At this point I uttered some very rude words about timewasters, and the proprietor made a hasty retreat for fear of having his head kicked in.

 

[AndyCook]

brilliant - best one yet!

Went with a mate to pick up his first car which he bought blind for £500 on ebay.

Met with the guy in a random supermarket carpark somewhere in South Yorkshire. My mate signed the paperwork and was handed the keys to a bright yellow Citroen Saxo VTR.... bright yellow because some chav had sprayed the entire car with rattle cans!

My job was to drive the car back to Burnley as said mate was yet to pass his driving test.

Pulled out of the carpark and took a left turn to find a constant stream of water pouring over my head, much to my mate's amusement. The sunroof leaked badly and had a massive pool of water in it so to empty it I took a few goes round a round-a-bout... mate not so amused any more as it empties on his head!

Stopped off at Halfords to buy some duct tape to tape up the sunroof, having done that we start the car to find the power steering no longer works. Out with the wheel brace to twat the electric power steering pump and off we go again.

About half a mile further we go over a speed hump and the drivers wing mirror falls off and hangs by the adjuster... out with the duct tape again.

Pulled onto a dual cartridge way and start to open her up... and she starts to open her self up! The grill and wheel arch trim start flapping wildly. Stopped added more duct tape..

A little while later my mate decides he is a bit warm and presses the button to open his window, there follows a grinding noise, a clonk and the glass disappears into the door rather rapidly. Stopped, removed door card, added 2 sticks and more duct tape.

Eventually got to a motorway and decided against all common sense to see just how good duct tape sticks and flew along at *cough* 70mph *cough*. At least the engine seemed work ok. That was until I notice the temp gauge getting close to the red. On with the heater which didnt seem to do much and we sweat our way to the next services not daring to try and open any other windows.

Pull into the services, kill time whist waiting for it to cool down by taping up an further parts which look like they might fall off and writing things in tape on the back. Then find there is no coolant in the rad, cant find any leaks so fill it with water, twat the steering pump again and bimble it back to Burnley.

Needless to say that car didnt last much longer and my mate learned some very important lessons about buying stuff on ebay!

The paint job looks MUCH better in the pictures that in reality!: