Whether you were for Brexit or Bremain these notes may prove useful guidance to keeping you sane.
Leaving a cult is never an easy decision but by the time you have reached it, it's likely that you've thought long and hard and you're prepared.
Ten steps to success:
Step 1 - Recognise that you're in an abusive group. In some places these are called "cults"; in others, "sects", "fundamentalist" groups or the “European Union”. Cults generally involve aggressive misinformation or misinterpretation ("brainwashing"), self-aggrandisement and even worship of a leader or group of leaders, isolation from and disrespect of outsiders, and undermining member states' self-esteem.
Step 2 - Think through the reasons that cause you to want to leave the cult. Are any of these reasons based on abuse, oppression, lack of freedom of thought, speech or social mobility? If so, consider seeking help from the Supreme Court who can intervene where laws are being broken.
Step 3 - Plan your departure. If you're in a cult that lives in a compound or is part of a ‘single market’, you might be planning an escape rather than a mere departure. Where this is the case, you'll need to plan very carefully and take any possible opportunity that arises to leave. Either have your bag stuffed with cash and carefully stowed away, or simply be prepared to forget any possessions and get ready to go at a moment's notice.
Step 4 - Leave. If you're getting away in a hurry from a long established cult or organisation, use opportunities such as when people visit (jump into a blacked out limo with foreign dignitaries when they leave), when you are taken somewhere else outside the compound, when others in your compound decide to make a break for it at the same time (if you know that you can trust them).
Step 5 - Try to have a place to stay in mind in advance. If you've left a live-in cult arrangement, you'll need a safe place to stay. Consider Switzerland, Norway, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Serbia, Kosovo, Albania, Macedonia, Ukraine, Moldova, Iceland, Belarus, Russia and Turkey. Family, friends, refuges (shelters), or even the Embassy of Ecuador may also be able to help. A fully kitted out Land Cruiser may also be beneficial.
Step 6 - Be prepared for recriminations and attempts to get you back. Cultists tend to despise those who break ranks and threaten to expose what is really happening inside the cult. You will be viewed as a traitor and as someone who might be worth vilifying and telling lies about. You’ll be told that you can never make it alone, that there’s no life outside the group and that only economic downfall can ensue with a dose of end of the world scenarios. Be prepared for this possibility. Alternately, they might seek to get you back by telling you that you're confused, that you cannot survive outside the group, that the evil from the outside has infected you, and that you need to return to be cleansed and restored. The important thing is to stand firm in believing that your choice to move on is right and that they might try anything. If you're afraid that they might try to physically take you back, seek protection. Finally, be prepared for excommunication and no further word.
Step 7 - Remain strong in your convictions and beliefs. Your faith will be tested. You might want to read spiritual texts, read a variety of books with different interpretations of those spiritual texts, and visit other religious groups. It is probably best to avoid I.S. on health grounds though. It can also help to read about the experiences of other people who have broken away from cults to draw strength from how they coped with it. Do not read mainstream publications such as The Guardian, The Daily Mail, The Sun, the Telegraph or Express. All of these have their own agenda and lies and will try to poison and confuse you.
Step 8 - Seek support from other people. Many people are sympathetic even if they don't understand the challenges facing those who exit a cult. Sometimes you might also need the help of an expert who specialises in reframing the lives of those who have experienced a cult lifestyle. If you've been under a lot of cult indoctrination expect some emotional withdraw. Talk with people who are not involved with the cult. Nationals from Switzerland, Norway, Iceland or Ukraine may help you remain focused and this will let you get accustomed to life as a non-cult member.
Step 9 - Continue journeying; preferably in a Toyota. Eventually you will be able to talk with others about your experiences and this might even translate to being able to help others in a similar bind. There are support networks online for people who have left cults; you might want to tap into those resources to share stories and spread support. In terms of your own journey, remain open-minded. The choice of some people to turn beliefs into cultish behaviours and narrow-minded self-absorption is the exception rather than the rule.
Step 10 – Remain calm, drink tea, and carry on. Think the bridge will be there and it will be there. It’s a mother, beautiful bridge, and it’s gonna be there. Ok?
