Turkeys all over the UK can celebrate

[Bat21]

Bernard Matthews died yesterday

 

[Chris]

Really? Not Bird Flu was it?


Arf arf.

C

 

[SimonD]

I heard foul play was involved. Apparently the funeral won't have the full band, just drums. Apparently he once tried to take on Colonel sanders in a fight but the Colonel was chicken. I'll get my hat.........

 

[Dave Burgess]

He is to be cremated next week....Gas mark 6, 25 mins per pound with stuffing and bacon..... Bootiful!

 

[BIG clean GREEN]

Here's a few e-mails I received this morning,


BBC News: Turkey King Bernard Matthews dies aged 80.

A spokesman for the Turkish Embassy in London has been quoted as saying, ”F**k off – you know he was English. Stop calling here, you’re not funny”



The funeral will take place next week at a Norfolk crematorium, 11:00am, Gas mark 6 for 3 hours. J

The family have asked for no flowers – just roast potatoes and parsnips !



The funeral cortege is to be led into the crematorium by six Golden Drummers at the request of his family.



The Crematorium staff have been told to make sure he is thouroughly de-frosted beforehand and cooked well until his juices run clear !

He weighed 120kg when he died. At 25 mins per kilo the cremation will take 2 days, 6 hours plus 30 mins resting time !!



and finally........Prostitutes in Norfolk are going to give a 2 minute gobble as a mark of respect for Bernard !!

Nick.