Don't like the adverts? Click here to remove them
Jokes
- Thread starter Chas
- Start date
Michael Montgomery
Well-Known Member
Michael Montgomery
Well-Known Member
Michael Montgomery
Well-Known Member
Michael Montgomery
Well-Known Member
Don't like the adverts? Click here to remove them
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2010
- Messages
- 5,911
- Country Flag
A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said "I want
to be a movie star." Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had
the right credentials.
The agent asked, "What's your name?"
The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."
The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into
Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name."
"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old,
I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."
The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will NEVER
go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you
will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you."
"So be it! I guess we will not do business together" the guy said and he left
the agent's office.
FIVE YEARS LATER..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside
the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who
would possibly send him $ 50,000? He reads the letter enclosed...
"Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor
in Hollywood , you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in
Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I
thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my
name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another
agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed
check is a token of my appreciation.
Thank you for your advice..
Sincerely,
Dick van Dyke
to be a movie star." Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had
the right credentials.
The agent asked, "What's your name?"
The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."
The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into
Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name."
"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old,
I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."
The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will NEVER
go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you
will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you."
"So be it! I guess we will not do business together" the guy said and he left
the agent's office.
FIVE YEARS LATER..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside
the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who
would possibly send him $ 50,000? He reads the letter enclosed...
"Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor
in Hollywood , you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in
Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I
thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my
name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another
agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed
check is a token of my appreciation.
Thank you for your advice..
Sincerely,
Dick van Dyke
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2010
- Messages
- 5,911
- Country Flag
Michael Montgomery
Well-Known Member
Michael Montgomery
Well-Known Member
Michael Montgomery
Well-Known Member
Michael Montgomery
Well-Known Member
Michael Montgomery
Well-Known Member
Michael Montgomery
Well-Known Member
One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees something approaching the island "It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and says: "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replies the stunned man. With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says: "Man, oh man! Is that good!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him.
Trembling the castaway replies: "Ten years."
She reaches over, unzips another pocket, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says: "WOW, that's absolutely fantastic!"
At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively, and asks:
"How long since you played around? "
"Good lord, don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there as well?"
Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and says: "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replies the stunned man. With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says: "Man, oh man! Is that good!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him.
Trembling the castaway replies: "Ten years."
She reaches over, unzips another pocket, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says: "WOW, that's absolutely fantastic!"
At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively, and asks:
"How long since you played around? "
"Good lord, don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there as well?"
Michael Montgomery
Well-Known Member
