Don't like the adverts?  Click here to remove them

Jokes

With Halloween coming up I decided to go to my local fancy dress shop to see if I could get a Dracula costume. After a few minutes the assistant handed me a Man United shirt.
"I think you have misheard me," I said. "I wanted to look like a count."
 
IMG_4285.jpeg
 
I got a job on an assembly line making Dracula costumes for Halloween, there's only two of us working there so i have to make every second count.
 
Don't like the adverts?  Click here to remove them
Oh dear, an all time low.
You ain't seen nothing yet! ;)

It's a sad fact that most bald people still own a comb.
They just can't part with them.

I'm reading a book called "The History of Lubricants" - it's non-friction.

I'm also reading a book called "The story of Glue" - I can't put it down.

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
 
Back
Top