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- Thread starter Chas
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Michael Montgomery
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Michael Montgomery
Well-Known Member
Michael Montgomery
Well-Known Member
Good Samaritans
A man was working in the Post Offce sorting area one day when he came across a letter in shaky handwriting simply addressed to “God”.
As there was no other forwarding address, he thought he should open it to see what it was about.
The letter read:
Dear God, I am an eighty-six-year-old widow, living on a very meagre pension. The other day someone stole my purse. It had £50 in it, which was all the money I have until my next pension cheque. Next Sunday is Christmas Eve and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money I have nothing to buy food with. As I have no family to turn to, you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
Yours sincerely, Ethel.
The postal worker was very moved by the letter and showed it to all of his fellow employees. Every one of them stumped up some money – by the time he made the rounds, he had collected £46, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. They all felt happy in the knowledge the old lady would be able to share a meal on Christmas Eve with her friends. Christmas came and went and a few days later another letter arrived, addressed in the same shaky handwriting, again addressed to God. All the Post Offce workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:
Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your generosity I had a lovely Christmas Eve with my friends and I told them all about your wonderful gift.
Yours sincerely, Ethel.
P.S. There was £4 missing. I think it must have been those thieving barstewards at the Post Office.
Michael Montgomery
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Michael Montgomery
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Towpack
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Michael Montgomery
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Michael Montgomery
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Michael Montgomery
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- Joined
- Nov 19, 2010
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Michael Montgomery
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Michael Montgomery
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So. My wife saw me ordering more parts for my truck online. She asked where i got the money for all that. “Dont worry, I been getting some overtime” i said. She said don’t be wasting money when we’re trying to finish the house in the near future. she then told me that if she catches me doing it again she’s gonna smash my head in to the keyboard. Well, here i am, online buying a few more parts for my truck again and clearly i don’t give a shikdhale3kxbaka78pcbf to isnbaiensodien bjsnsjskoaos. S. Si shnf djanala12oxndhs48 oalndid. Siidhdie63636 zhaopfheo slolsbsi91ahdla.?wukdo172zcjdnx exodus’s
Michael Montgomery
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Michael Montgomery
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I taught my dog to play the trumpet on the underground the other day. he picked it up pretty quick, went from Barking to Tooting in about 10 mins.
Michael Montgomery
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A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a hospital in America, so to earn some money he opens a small clinic and puts a sign outside that reads:
"GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100."
An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."
Doctor: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 14 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."
Lawyer: "Ugh. this is petrol."
Doctor: " Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me my $20."
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to try to recover his money.
Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I can’t remember anything."
Doctor: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 14 and put 3 drops in his mouth."
Lawyer (annoyed): "This is petrol. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste."
Doctor: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20."
The fuming lawyer pays him, then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.
Lawyer: "My eyesight has become very weak I cannot see at all."
doctor: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100."
Lawyer (staring at the note): "But this is $20, not $100!”
Doctor: "
Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20"
"GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100."
An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."
Doctor: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 14 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."
Lawyer: "Ugh. this is petrol."
Doctor: " Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me my $20."
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to try to recover his money.
Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I can’t remember anything."
Doctor: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 14 and put 3 drops in his mouth."
Lawyer (annoyed): "This is petrol. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste."
Doctor: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20."
The fuming lawyer pays him, then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.
Lawyer: "My eyesight has become very weak I cannot see at all."
doctor: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100."
Lawyer (staring at the note): "But this is $20, not $100!”
Doctor: "
Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20"
